Hey guys 🙂
Two posts in a row…so far, so good. I felt slightly better after ranting yesterday, and it reminded me of why I started this blog in the first place. I started this blog last year because I was being put (and putting myself) under a lot of unnecessary pressure. And I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it because I’m a coward. I’ve known that for a while…There’s this thing in Psychology when a person has such low self-confidence that they project it as over-confidence…I think, for me, it’s this PLUS my ego.
So, basically, yeah…I guess I feel I’m putting myself under unnecessary pressure again, therefore, I’ve started blogging again. I’ve decided to make use of my vacant time in between classes to catch up on things–school work, projects, sleep, etc. I just feel like I really need a vacation or something. Like, to take a breather, a break from it all. I remember what my Drawing teacher (the one who kept failing me) used to tell me during our consultations:
“I think you are over-thinking this. You know? Sometimes I find it very refreshing to put everything down, step back, and look at this from a distance. Then, maybe, you’ll see what needs work, what is good already, and what shouldn’t even be here at all…”
Of course, being the stubborn, apathetic young teen at the time, I didn’t really care to understand all that and kept failing her class that year. But I realize what she meant now, and am now able to apply it to other aspects of my life. So…thank you, ‘cher 😉
No progress btw…if you’ve read the previous post. I find it hard to approach them and ask them anything now…It’s me and my cowardice, I swear…and my ego! My big, inflating, son of bitch of an ego. Oh, oh, OH!!!! Maybe that’s why! Karma! Shit! Karma is such a bitch! Such a bitch that I wanna get a female dog and name it ‘Karma’! 😥
Hehe…oopsies. Sorry about the swearing. I used to swear a lot with my friends in and after school, so I guess this is, like, how I truly express myself. It’s weird, I know, but…I’m feeling nostalgic right now. Or, like, wanting to re-live through those fond memories I made before I left…Even though everything got so messed up and painful last year, I think it was an okay year. It was the year I finally opened up to everyone, since I’d have known them all for pretty much 4 years by then. Just sad that it had to be in my last year that I got close to them 😦 I’ve gotta stop wasting opportunities. Life’s too short to leave behind so many regrets…”You don’t bite the hand that feeds”, or whatever that saying is that I heard from that Goofy movie on Disney a few years back 😛 Haha, I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore! I’m going insane again ahahahahahahhahahahah XD
Oh, one more update about today! I started smiling to myself randomly and I still don’t know why. Then I laugh at myself ‘coz I start to imagine how silly I must look to anyone who catches me haha. And I caught my dad just now before he left to visit his mom, and it was like a comedy sitcom. We were making jokes on the fly, and we both lol-ed at each other so hard haha. Great, now I’m smiling like an idiot, and my sister is giving me that look from across the room like, “What the heck kind of crazy person do I have here? This person’s supposed to be 5 years older than me???”
Anyways, I guess I’m done writing for tonight. Gotta catch up on projects and homework, as usual. I’m working on it! Trust me! Wait, don’t…that’s a bad idea. Don’t trust me, or I’ll send Karma to bite you in the butt (if I ever deem myself worthy enough to own a dog, or any animal for that matter).
Thank you so, so much for reading! I know it got a little messy in the middle there. Well, that’s because I wanted to write about one thing at first, but I changed my mind halfway and diverged to something somewhat related. And then diverged again to something not really related…at all.
Haha, but seriously, thank you, whoever you guys are who read this. I honestly don’t know what makes my blog worth following, but thanks for doing so. I…I really appreciate it. Even if you don’t like, share or comment…I just wanna know that someone read this. It makes me feel good 🙂
I’ll sign off now, before I get all mushy with ya.