Arrogance vs. Confidence

Hey guys!

Christmas is coming up!  And New Year’s is just around the corner!  This is always my favorite time of the year.  Time to let go of the past and start anew.  There have been a few things that happened recently that still irk me up to this very moment, and I want to just get it off my chest in the hopes that I’ll feel WAY better after (which is usually the case).

A couple of weeks ago, our 2nd semester at school just started, so it was pretty much just introductions.  In one particular class, the teacher openly admitted/warned us that she can be arrogant most of the time.  I was absolutely fine with that, having dealt with much worse in my previous school.  Arrogance is the least of my worries, really.  After we introduced ourselves to the teacher, she asked the class if anyone of us were arrogant too.  Quite shockingly, they pointed at me!  I was quite offended by this.  Never have I ever been described as arrogant!  Nor do I think I have EVER been arrogant!  Nonetheless, with this bunch of people who I barely know, and who barely know me!  But, being the nice and NON-arrogant person that I was, I shrugged it off and said nothing against it that day.  However, I can never really get over it until I justify myself to somebody, anybody…so here goes.

I am NOT arrogant.  I am more…CONFIDENT, over-confident if you will, at times.  (I’m a shy person.  I’ve been shy my whole life.  And my lack of confidence often shows as over-confidence, in my attempt to show that I’m not weak.  You can even ask my friends who were with me during the climax of my moody, angsty, hormonal pubescent stage.  Or maybe, if they read this, they’ll leave a very honest opinion of me in the comments 😉 )  Hear me out!  Please!  I did some reading and I have good arguments!  Don’t let my 4 years of writing argumentative essays go to waste!  (I’m not forcing you though.  Please don’t hold that against me.)

I.  Condescending Remarks

Superiority is the main quality of an arrogant person.  Arrogant people are single-minded, thinking they’re either superior or inferior to others.  They feel better by tearing others down.  That’s not me, guys.  I feel better knowing that I am not like them, that I am my own person.  And if I do something better than them, I don’t gloat or boast in front of them, because in all honesty, I don’t fucking care about my achievements.  I have low standards, and I’m quite the under-achiever (especially with academics).

Contrary to the last point, confident people are high-minded.  They can feel good without having the desire to offend others.  I would just like to point out that I’m very well aware that I sometimes say or do things that offend others, but most of those times, I didn’t meant to offend.  I’m not very good with social situations, nor do I have a lot of experience with them, so I can’t really predict what others would feel if I said certain things.  (And my reaction to certain ‘offensive’ things may not be of ‘offense’ most of the time; my morals and values aren’t quite normal either.  Oh, and I lack this thing called ‘common sense’.)

II.  Attitude

An arrogant person thinks they are better than others, while a confident person knows they are just as good as the others.  Confident people won’t be seen lecturing/preaching to others about how they are wrong, but they will usually show respect while listening to somebody.  Meanwhile, arrogant people have difficulty listening to others, and often exude negative energy and blame others if things go wrong or unexpected.  I, on the other hand, have no problem listening to others.  In fact, it’s what I do best!  I rarely fight back, so when I do, it must be for something of some importance to me.  And, like I said before, I’m an under-achiever.  So it’s highly unlikely that I would think I’m better than you.  TBH.

III.  Self-perception

Confident people always feel comfortable.  It’s nearly impossible to bring them down because they’re aware of their weaknesses and know how to deal with them.  Arrogant people brush their own shortcomings aside.  They cannot admit their mistakes.

So, I think this point is the only point that will make me say that I can be a bit arrogant sometimes, because sometimes I really cannot seem to admit to my mistakes, or I wait for someone to point it out when it’s too late.  I feel bad, but I don’t do anything about it, in fear that I would make it worse.  I am aware of this, obviously.  By virtue of my apathy, I have done nothing about it.  (Sorry.)

IV.  Relationships with Society

Relationships with arrogant people can be a great source of potential pain.  Those people  live in their own world of self-importance and pride, and nothing affects them.  They can’t accept their weaknesses or faults, but blame others for them.  They can even sacrifice friendship or other relationships at the cost of their success.  Meanwhile, a truly self-confident person is able to show vulnerability and even admit past mistakes.

I’ll admit that I can be absorbed with my pride, especially if I’m angry.  I tend to get angry and not speak to the another until they do, or else I don’t make up at all.  Even if it’s obviously my fault, I don’t make a move until the other does.  After which, I admit to everything readily, but I don’t accept their friendship as willingly or readily.  For me, in specific situations, I would sometimes wish that we had made up and then just went our separate ways.  I like drama, okay?  (Sorry again.)

V.  Communication

An arrogant person will always try to one-up everything you say.  They mind only their position and make others accept their ideas.  Confident people don’t try to impose their vision of the situation on others.  Depending on the subject or topic of the conversation, I will try to one-up you, especially if you’re my parents, but that’s a story for another time.  But I seem to use this as some kind of defense mechanism, like when I’m trying to defend someone else, or something I said from before.  But usually, I get tired of thinking of what else to say, so I just let it go really easily.  I also try to avoid such conversations because I am very well aware that I do this and that it annoys people.

VI.  Eye contact

Confident people will make eye contact with you and make you feel as though you are the most important person in the room.  Arrogant people will constantly be looking past you for someone else to talk to because they think this person will benefit them more than you.

For this one, I don’t think I can make a proper judgment of myself because, as I’ve said before,  I’m a shy person, so I naturally tend to avoid eye contact, or face-to-face and one-to-one conversations.

VII.  Various roots

Arrogance is usually the result of a defense mechanism used by the subconscious mind in order to prevent further criticism.  Confidence comes from positivity, optimism and mental steadiness.

Personally, my arrogance (what little of it I have) comes from the desire to justify something I had just said or someone else’s actions.  A defense mechanism too, in a way, I guess.  And my confidence/over-confidence comes from the desire to show, on the outside, that I’m not weak, even though on the inside I’ve already been hurt and broken down 10 times already that same day.

Okay, so after that long and kinda rambly thing, 3 out of 7 points tell me that I am arrogant.  But I think that 2 out of those 3 points also prove to me that I am proud, which I do suspect myself of being as well.  BUT this is just me.  What do you guys think?  Especially you guys who know me personally, what do you think?

If you read all the way through that really badly written ‘essay’ type thing, thank you so much!  It’s really nice to know that someone bothers reading my blogs, and even better to know that someone reads the whole thing!  It’s also really nice to get this off my chest.  Who am I proving myself to?  No one.  I just need a place to ‘vocalize’ my thoughts and feelings sometimes and, since I’m not much of a talker, I write about it instead.

Once again, thank you so so much!  I appreciate your views!

Good night!
Agnes

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