On Arts Schools

Just wanted to post a quick thought here.

I’ve been in an arts high school; notice I say ‘arts’ and not ‘art’ because we mean all the art forms, like dance, music, theater and the visual arts.  And I’m taking a Fine Arts course now for college.

I’ve had, and still have, classmates who complain about how we’re not being taught how to draw or paint or what have you.  And here I am going, “well, if all you wanted to learn is how to draw, then you didn’t need to come to an arts school for that…”  There are so many ways people can learn to draw and paint and do whatever it is we artists do – online videos, workshops, going to exhibitions and observing and experimenting on your own.  If you go to an arts school, it should be noted that you already know how to draw, that you already know what to do.  Because in arts school, they won’t teach you how to do shit, they teach you what to do with the skills you have.

Here’s another example.  I took violin lessons – had good and great teachers.  I’ve recently observed that they never taught me how to play the music.  They just taught me how to play the instrument, and how to read notes.  I figured out how to feel and play the music myself.  No one can teach you that.  Same probably goes for those who are in the theater, and in dance.  They didn’t ask their teachers or mentors how to emote and move expressively.  Sad face to them may be angry face to others, ya know?

I think what those classmates of mine didn’t get is that arts is something that comes from you, your experiences, and your observations.  The essence of art can’t be taught because it’s different for everyone.  And an artist’s job is to help the world see what they see.

Cheers,

Agnes

Today was a good day

Just a really quick post. I felt like I just needed to tell the (cyber)world how sweet life can be sometimes.

Today was a good day. Not the best, but I felt a bit more uplifted after today than usual.

  1. No traffic on the way to school, which always feels awesome.
  2. The most original story idea I’ve ever had hit me in the head while I was zoning in and out of class. (Very excited for the holidays now so I can start working on that.)
  3. I got the ‘good box’ of sushi for lunch. (Freshly made and rolled tightly.)
  4. Finished my final submission for my Photography class, and ahead of time for once! (A portfolio of our best works in video form, and I even had time to mix the music myself.)
  5. Our team won the badminton championship!!!

And to top it all off, the UV express I rode on the way home just now smelled like raw cookie dough! (That’s good in my book.)

Ahh, so good.  Life’s kind to you sometimes.  Best to just enjoy it while the moment lasts.

Signing of for now,

Agnes D.J.

Exam week

Heyyo, people of the Internet!

Finally back with another post!  It’s actually the start of our finals this week, and it ends some time next week (and then summer break, here I come).  But, as usual, I don’t really study for any of my exams…especially now that I’m taking Fine Arts and most of my exams can’t exactly be studied.  So if I’m not already being honest enough right now, exam time is actually when I am the most free.

Growing up in a country (or maybe I should say continent) that puts SO MUCH importance on school and grades, I often observed most of my classmates/schoolmates being so stressed and lethargic during exam time, due to burning the midnight oil, being too nit-picky with their assignments, mental and emotional breakdowns, and even suicidal thoughts.  And I just felt really bad for them because they’re growing up thinking that school and grades are just that – super stressful and the only thing that will make their parents proud.

Personally, studying everyday even until the day of the exam has never worked.  I get so stressed and so engrossed in all the info I’m trying to absorb that my mind just becomes so….artificial?  Like I’m a computer storing all this info that I’ll probably only use for that one day.  It felt like my humanity was just draining out of me like a running tap. Continue reading

Emptiness

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnddddd I’m back, guys!

[Just thought I’d post something real quick.  Oh, and btw, I’ve been getting so much traffic from IG ever since I put a link to this blog on my profile…cool beans.  Thanks, random strangers who may or may not be stalkers.]

I can’t help but feel that I’ve ruined my life on so many levels, and I continue to ruin it even though I’m fully aware how I’m ruining it.  I just think about things too much, and it leads me to come up with these bewildering and often stupid conclusions.

I wish it could stop.  I wish I could stop.  I wish everything would JUST.  STOP.  I need to take a breather…from life.  Not even long weekends and holidays give me the rest I need anymore.  I feel like everything is just so draining. Continue reading

To the friend I treated unfairly

Dear B,

I miss you so much.

7 years ago, I ruined everything.  I don’t know why I said those things.  I was just a stupid little kid; temperamental, easily jealous, incapable of making sane decisions.

I regret everything I did to you.  I was the worst friend ever. Continue reading

Interviewed by the Dean

Hey everyone!

I’m just getting back into the swing of things.  As usual, I’ve always treated this blog as a sort of confessional online journal of my life. I  always come back to this when something has bothered/been bothering me; hence, here I am. Continue reading

Losing Focus (Update)

Hey, hey! What’s up, everyone?

I know, I know.  It’s been a long while.  Sorry about that…again.  It seems like I just can’t shake the old habit of never finishing anyth

Speaking of, I started multiple (and kind of ambitious) art projects near the end of 2015 and at the very beginning of 2016.  First, I started not one, not two, but THREE new art journals sometime before Christmas break.  I messed up one, so it was down to two by the time school closed for the Christmas break.  One of them was going very strong, inspired by one of my classmates who was VERY diligent with her many Moleskine journals.  Then school started again and I lost sight of why I wanted to finish it in the first place.  Same with the other one which I’ve left absolutely blank, aside from the covers.  Also during this time, my mom and I worked very hard to get the four different Starbucks planners (which is now a custom for at least the two of us).  I absolutely love Starbucks, and I especially loved their 2016 planners because they were MOLESKINE JOURNALS!  (Yup, inspired by that same classmate as well.)  We got help from my mom’s colleagues, who seemed to see it as a charity case hehe…
Continue reading

Practicality over Passion?

Hey guys!  Happy 2016!!!

So, I’m halfway through my first year of college and it’s almost time to apply for a new school ‘coz I’m really not feeling it at my current school (or rather, I’m feeling way too strongly against everything at my current school).  I don’t know if it’s because of the people I hang with, who are just so URGH, or the course I’m doing, Fine Arts, which is what I’ve been doing for pretty much my whole life and is honestly getting a little routine/repetitive/redundant due to having come from a specialized art school. Continue reading

Arrogance vs. Confidence

Hey guys!

Christmas is coming up!  And New Year’s is just around the corner!  This is always my favorite time of the year.  Time to let go of the past and start anew.  There have been a few things that happened recently that still irk me up to this very moment, and I want to just get it off my chest in the hopes that I’ll feel WAY better after (which is usually the case).

A couple of weeks ago, our 2nd semester at school just started, so it was pretty much just introductions.  In one particular class, the teacher openly admitted/warned us that she can be arrogant most of the time.  I was absolutely fine with that, having dealt with much worse in my previous school.  Arrogance is the least of my worries, really.  After we introduced ourselves to the teacher, she asked the class if anyone of us were arrogant too.  Quite shockingly, they pointed at me!  I was quite offended by this.  Never have I ever been described as arrogant!  Nor do I think I have EVER been arrogant!  Nonetheless, with this bunch of people who I barely know, and who barely know me!  But, being the nice and NON-arrogant person that I was, I shrugged it off and said nothing against it that day.  However, I can never really get over it until I justify myself to somebody, anybody…so here goes. Continue reading

I Found True Love In A Dream

It’s been 5 days since I had this dream, but I haven’t fully gotten over it yet.  Usually, when I have an unusual or weird dream, I write it down, look up some stuff, and never think about it again (unless it recurs).  This one, though, left me in such a daze that I started to really think about the choices I’m making, and what I really want to do with my life.

From what I wrote down that morning, the dream seemed to take place in present time.  I was saying ‘goodbye’ to my blockmates (including the ones who had already left), who were in uniform, in an unfamiliar car park.  They were saying things like, “Congrats, Agnes!”, “Good luck, Agnes! Take care!”, and other positive and congratulatory exclamations.  We then parted ways, and I sat on a bench in the car park with some girl whom I don’t think I’ve ever met in real life.  She was telling me how she was going to miss me so much, and how we weren’t going to be able to “hang out like this” anymore.  Everything fades to black, and I wake up the next day. Continue reading