Emptiness

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnddddd I’m back, guys!

[Just thought I’d post something real quick.  Oh, and btw, I’ve been getting so much traffic from IG ever since I put a link to this blog on my profile…cool beans.  Thanks, random strangers who may or may not be stalkers.]

I can’t help but feel that I’ve ruined my life on so many levels, and I continue to ruin it even though I’m fully aware how I’m ruining it.  I just think about things too much, and it leads me to come up with these bewildering and often stupid conclusions.

I wish it could stop.  I wish I could stop.  I wish everything would JUST.  STOP.  I need to take a breather…from life.  Not even long weekends and holidays give me the rest I need anymore.  I feel like everything is just so draining. Continue reading

Interviewed by the Dean

Hey everyone!

I’m just getting back into the swing of things.  As usual, I’ve always treated this blog as a sort of confessional online journal of my life. I  always come back to this when something has bothered/been bothering me; hence, here I am. Continue reading

Losing Focus (Update)

Hey, hey! What’s up, everyone?

I know, I know.  It’s been a long while.  Sorry about that…again.  It seems like I just can’t shake the old habit of never finishing anyth

Speaking of, I started multiple (and kind of ambitious) art projects near the end of 2015 and at the very beginning of 2016.  First, I started not one, not two, but THREE new art journals sometime before Christmas break.  I messed up one, so it was down to two by the time school closed for the Christmas break.  One of them was going very strong, inspired by one of my classmates who was VERY diligent with her many Moleskine journals.  Then school started again and I lost sight of why I wanted to finish it in the first place.  Same with the other one which I’ve left absolutely blank, aside from the covers.  Also during this time, my mom and I worked very hard to get the four different Starbucks planners (which is now a custom for at least the two of us).  I absolutely love Starbucks, and I especially loved their 2016 planners because they were MOLESKINE JOURNALS!  (Yup, inspired by that same classmate as well.)  We got help from my mom’s colleagues, who seemed to see it as a charity case hehe…
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Practicality over Passion?

Hey guys!  Happy 2016!!!

So, I’m halfway through my first year of college and it’s almost time to apply for a new school ‘coz I’m really not feeling it at my current school (or rather, I’m feeling way too strongly against everything at my current school).  I don’t know if it’s because of the people I hang with, who are just so URGH, or the course I’m doing, Fine Arts, which is what I’ve been doing for pretty much my whole life and is honestly getting a little routine/repetitive/redundant due to having come from a specialized art school. Continue reading

Arrogance vs. Confidence

Hey guys!

Christmas is coming up!  And New Year’s is just around the corner!  This is always my favorite time of the year.  Time to let go of the past and start anew.  There have been a few things that happened recently that still irk me up to this very moment, and I want to just get it off my chest in the hopes that I’ll feel WAY better after (which is usually the case).

A couple of weeks ago, our 2nd semester at school just started, so it was pretty much just introductions.  In one particular class, the teacher openly admitted/warned us that she can be arrogant most of the time.  I was absolutely fine with that, having dealt with much worse in my previous school.  Arrogance is the least of my worries, really.  After we introduced ourselves to the teacher, she asked the class if anyone of us were arrogant too.  Quite shockingly, they pointed at me!  I was quite offended by this.  Never have I ever been described as arrogant!  Nor do I think I have EVER been arrogant!  Nonetheless, with this bunch of people who I barely know, and who barely know me!  But, being the nice and NON-arrogant person that I was, I shrugged it off and said nothing against it that day.  However, I can never really get over it until I justify myself to somebody, anybody…so here goes. Continue reading

Stressed. Depressed. But well-dressed (?)

Quick post!

Hey again!

I’m afraid I can’t write too much today, since I’ve got lots of stuff to do for tomorrow. “Why am I writing at all?”, you ask. Well, this couldn’t wait, so here goes…

I’m now extremely ashamed and disappointed with myself. I just feel so embarrassed all the time now…like, I almost don’t wanna leave the house anymore due to sheer embarrassment. ALMOST! I’ve done that before, and I don’t wanna be that kind of person again. I told myself I’d change this year, but it seems like the more I try, I become something much worse 😦
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HAY NAKU! Agnes…

Heyyo guysss…

Super sorry I’ve been gone for so many months.  School was out for me for so long that I got too bored to do anything for a long while 😦  And now that I’m in college, and having classes again, I’m still feeling a mixture of excitement, anxiety and boredom.

It’s my third month schooling back here in the Philippines, and so far I’ve had lows…and highs…and many many lows again.  I don’t get it anymore.  I mean, it’s definitely different here from Singapore. Continue reading

Finding My Inner Passion. Here’s to the Music students!

Happy Friday the 13th! (The second one of 2015 actually…)
(Just f.y.i., ’13’ just happens to be my luckiest number, and ‘Friday the 13th’ has never failed to be one of the better days in my life so far.)

So I’ve been really free lately, which leaves me a lot (too much) time to think. And my mind just can’t seem to stop thinking back on the embarrassing, funny, scary, anxious, fun, happy, sad and generally memorable moments I’ve had in SOTA (my former high school)…I think this is what people think/feel before they start seeking closure, am I right? And if ‘closure’ is what I want, then I really have to visit them really soon. It’s starting to get annoying.

Anyways, I brought that up because I started reflecting on my ‘Arts journey’ in SOTA, if that makes any sense, and I realized that I auditioned into SOTA under Visual Arts ONLY because it was what I thought would be beneficial and it was what I was more passionate about at the time…But after just a month in that school, I quickly realized that I may have joined the wrong art form. Why? Well…
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Red, Yellow, Blue

Hey everyone!

Happy Chinese New Year of the Goat 🙂 I personally don’t celebrate it, but a significant amount of people in the world do so why not say it?

Anyways, I wanted to share this weird thing that happened to me last year. Call it coincidence, call it fate, call it superstition, call it…mental instability! But this is how I saw it, and you won’t have much say in how you’ll see it. (So sorry.)
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